Why Are We Not Friends Anymore?


People come and go in our lives for so many reasons. We all meet for a reason and when that reason is fulfilled, those people leave our lives.

Years ago this concept was very hard for me to grasp. I always wonder why so-and-so wasn’t friends with me anymore. What happened?

First you have to think how and when these people entered your life. What did you guys do together? Talk about? Learn?

Then think about around the time the friendships started petering out. What was the big lesson your learned or discovered while with that friend? What is a life changing event? An acknowledgement  that you needed to hear? A discovery about yourself?

Keep in mind that there are differences between friends and acquaintances. I truly believe that friends are made during the very beginning of your life. Sure there are people that are considered really good friends later on in life but they have a different feel or vibration.

Now going back to these lessons, when a friendship ends, think about why you are no longer friends. What “feels” different?

I know since I’ve become Awakened, my vibration, energy or frequency, has changed. It’s easier to associate with people who have the same “feeling” verses someone who doesn’t. Lower vibrational anything feels like walking in mud. You try to get where you need to be but you’re getting pulled down. And that’s not good.

So are you bummed because a friendship ends? Don’t be! You’ve learned something very important in your life from that person and you should be grateful and thank them.

This year I looked back at few of my relationships and see how they’ve changed or ended. I realized what lesson I’ve learned or how they changed my life and was so very grateful for that experience because without them, I would not be who I am today.

As far as the people who are still in my life now, they perhaps are learning from me. When they get to their ah-ah moment, that will change as well.

See how wonderful friends are? I love and thank all my friends from the past, present and future because without you, I cannot grow.

I love you!

Donna 👭

2 thoughts on “Why Are We Not Friends Anymore?

  1. I agree in large part, Donna. But what about being friends with someone because you truly love them? Not because of what you can do for them or they for you, for some utilitarian reason, but because you unconditionally find joy being together with them? Aristotle talks about three kinds of friendship: we can be friends for utility, getting basic or specific needs met, or be friends for pleasure, or be friends because we see in the other a second self. It’s the third kind of friendship which has the most value, because when two people with the same virtuous character (or maybe the same vibration) are friends, the friendship is had for its own sake, you love/cherish that person like you do yourself. I think such friendships are very powerful, if admittedly rare in this world, and that they don’t end just because a person has gotten what they need out of the relationship so can then leave. In fact, friends of virtue have a commitment to themselves to grow, and will grow together. I think it is important to distinguish ending a friendship because the other person refuses or is unable to grow with you and being around them doesn’t serve you anymore–say they are codependent or suck energy from you or are manipulative, or maybe your interests are so drastically different now you have nothing in common–and ending a friendship because you’ve taken everything you need from it and are done. I don’t think simply saying that friendships end when you finish a life lesson with the person makes this distinction clearly. I do think some people come into our lives for a simple reason, and then leave once that is accomplished. But for me, I don’t usuallly see my friends as potential opportunities for me to grow, or at least not just that; such a point of view does not consider the reasons to be in the friendship for the friend’s sake, for the other person. And that is more than half the reason I form friendships. Just another way of looking at it.

    • and that’s the difference between “friends” and acquaintances Eilis. I also didn’t mention “ending” a friendship I was just noting how some just peter out. True friends will be around for the long haul and it feels wonderful because you are meant to be together. Other “friends” just come and go for various reasons. The point of this post was to acknowledge that there are reasons that people – not just friends – come in and out of our lives. Sometimes it’s a head scratcher but there’s always a reason. Thank you for the wonderful comment – friend 🙂

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